Sunday, 30 October 2016

‘In life you will get many, many, many nos before you get a yes!’

Each year thousands of people start university and for the last time ever, I am one of them. The safety net of education will disappear before my eyes in ten short months. What awaits me in the not-so-distant future remains unknown for now and I have finally come to terms with that. It’s ok.

Until now life has been fairly systematic, I’ve always known what is going to happen next, so the thought of not having a clear plan of action for life after university filled me with dread. Like most people I want success and I want happiness. Beyond that I have no clue and I can't help but envy the person who knows exactly what they want do. Let’s call that person Lisa. Lisa knows exactly what do, how and when and unlike me, she can envisage the end. However, one thing that Lisa and I will have in common on our respective paths are obstacles. One of the greatest, if not THE GREATEST lesson my mam has taught me, is that in life you will have many, many, many nos before you get a yes. Admittedly, this was almost always when she didn’t allow me to attend a party for whatever reason and I huffed and puffed (to no avail). Though even all these nos, lots and lots of them (African parents lol) could not prepare me for the rejection I faced dipping my toes into adult world. It’s shit. The feeling in your heart and in your tummy when you begin to question not only your ability but your worth is indescribable. What’s worse is seeing Lisa, Jessie and Beth seemingly sailing through life, getting this interview and that job. But after a while I had to just stop and have a word with myself. Firstly, not getting a job is in no way a measure of your worth. EVER. And second, you haven’t walked the path of Lisa, Jessie or Beth. Comparison is the theft of joy so as hard as it may be, don’t mind them. I won’t pretend that accepting these is easy, I’m yet to fully accept them myself.

The future is no doubt a scary thing but it’s also full of potential and I won't allow fear of failure to cripple me. At the age of twenty-one there is no rush. I'm in no way glad that Lisa faces obstacles, I'm relieved that I'm not alone. Besides that Lisa can do her thing and I'll do mine. My journey will be challenging and I will get my 'yes' but to add yet another cliché to this post, nothing good comes easy.

© Yusun Hannah
Maira Gall